One of the things I appreciate about God is that He always keeps life interesting, be it the changing of earthly seasons or the changing and upgrading (hopefully!) in our spiritual maturity. Every day is different from the one before.
This month claimed my final day as a “working woman” outside the home. With a baby due in two months, my physical and mental energy have been quite zapped, so the dear husband and I agreed that the day before Thanksgiving would be my last day at work.
I’ve had some sort of job since I was about eleven, and the prospect of not doing something fiscally profitable was concerning me. I had done Mary Kay for a couple years right out of high school, but for certain reasons (to be revealed shortly) had also stopped before I got married. I was considering re-joining, but I needed to know God’s thoughts on it.
When I first signed up to be an Independent Beauty Consultant, I was floundering in my teenage-ness. I had just finished high school, my plans for college were falling apart, and the job I loved was ending since I had, well, planned to be in college instead of still working.
I knew a director who was eager to sign me up, but I told her I needed to pray about it first. Well, after a very quick five or ten minutes of “Okay God, this is what I’m doing…I hope You’re okay with this…oh, no response? Okay-thanks-bye-amen…” I called her back and became official.
Dun dun dun.
(I don’t recommend prayers like that, just for the record.)
However, monies came in and monies went out, and God blessed me many times through my business, despite my sloppy introduction. A few years later, however, I found myself in church praying for God to reveal anything in my heart that was displeasing to Him. Instantly, that moment on my bedroom floor praying a rushed and non-trusting prayer flashed back in my mind. I felt God was calling my little Mary Kay business back and that I needed to give it up and give it back to Him.
I obeyed, and it would be a few more years before I would consider doing Mary Kay again.
Fast-forward to a few weeks ago, and I found myself awake at 2am with a sleeping husband and a 3lb baby growing rapidly within me. I tossed and turned and rearranged my pillows. As I usually do when I can’t go back to sleep, I began talking with God. Most times I pray for other people in the middle of the night, but that time I was asking God about re-starting my MK. I knew selling cosmetics and skin care wasn’t a sin, but I also felt that my original introduction to the business wasn’t with a sincere attitude of truly desiring God’s will in my life. I also knew I wanted to be involved in something with goals and the opportunity to make some extra money while staying at home with our little guy once he was born.
I wanted to know if I could do it again, and how I would know He was really approving it–versus my translating a quick quiet moment as a divine go-ahead. I wanted a real answer.
Because when God says yes, He says yes.
And suddenly I sensed Him clarifying what I had done wrong in those quick, frantic moments several years ago. I hadn’t been trusting Him. I had put my financial stability into my own hands and had basically said, “Sorry, God, You aren’t gonna be in control of this–I am going to provide for myself right now.”
(Now granted, God is gracious and despite my slimy attitude He still did bless that business on many occasions. In humility I can see that now.)
So as I stayed there, propped around my pillows, I was reminded that ultimately, God is my provider. He provides my husband’s job, enables him to work, and provides the ability for a paycheck. He provided my last job, enabled me to work, and provided for that paycheck. If I were to re-start Mary Kay, I needed to do it trusting that anything profitable was coming from Him, not from me, because He was enabling me to be out and promoting the business.
Maybe I’m just repeating myself, but at 2am this clicked profoundly.
Well, a few days later, I came in contact with another lady who was interested in sharing her Mary Kay business opportunity with me. Someone I didn’t know, someone I hadn’t planned on hearing about Mary Kay from.
Funny how God orchestrates when you’re trusting Him.
So now I’m back to the pink and seeing where He takes me, as I proceed to trust Him. It’s a phenomenal journey, that’s for sure!