Funny Things About Pregnancy

Funny Things About Pregnancy

Since I’m nearing the end of my pregnancy, I think it is now safe to say that I have had a relatively smooth and easy time. No morning sickness, minimal nausea and nothing horribly unusual.

But there were still things I didn’t expect!

First of all, I didn’t realize how similar pregnancy is to senility. I remember the first time I sneezed and “leaked” a tiny bit, and thinking, “Um, that’s embarrassing…” I’ve since learned to multi-task and cross my legs if a sneeze comes on…which they do frequently. I swear it’s like having morning allergies! So much sneezing and sniffling!

I also hadn’t anticipated the awkward pain of when your hips start to widen, preparing for the passage of a new human being. It hasn’t been too bad these last few weeks, but for awhile I felt like a fat Barbie doll with broken hip joints; step, creak, step, creak…waddle, waddle, waddle…

And drooling! I know everyone drools at some point in their sleep…but ever since I’ve been pregnant I begin drooling within minutes of falling asleep! On my hand, down my face, onto my pillow–and with the nights being colder, turning your face over into a puddle of semi-refrigerated saliva is just gross. So far I’ve managed to not drool all over my husband…well, not that much anyway.

Speaking of sleeping, I’ve actually managed to sleep comfortably up until the last few nights. I’ll start on one side, and after a few hours will roll back to the other side…beginning the flippy-floppy process for the rest of the long night. Only, I can’t exactly roll over any more, due to this rapidly growing child protruding forth. I end up moving like a convulsing walrus, bending my body in three sections, hoping the rest will follow. Throw the shoulders over, pop the hips…hope the stomach comes with.

And then there’s to hoping I didn’t lose my covers in the process–’cause it won’t be worth it to roll over again.

As to cravings, I haven’t had anything super exciting. Went through a Popsicle phase, a sour candy phase, and am wrapping up a cinnamon roll phase, but nothing bizarre or gross. (And no pickle cravings, much to my husband’s dismay!)

So now as putting on socks and shoes becomes a more difficult task, I’m definitely getting excited to have this baby and have my body functioning at a one-person capacity again. But it is an amazing process!

Honestly, I’m not too worried about labor and delivery. God has given me more peace about it than I even expected, and I’m actually beginning to get excited about this final step! I’m not a huge fan of visible, needly things poking into my skin, though, so the thought of having to see an IV in my hand probably freaks me out more than anything else…but I know I’ll get through that, too.

Well, here’s to another six weeks of excitement!

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